(Verbatim from an email)
A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your
answer with a proof. Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If
they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls
moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist
in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume
in hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to
stay constant.
1) So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all
hell breaks loose.
2) Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese Banyan during Freshman year,
“that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you” and take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations with her, then 2 cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
