“Amazon Women in the Mood”
Hi, my name is Justin. I'm a television reviewer here at CampusNut, and I have a confession to make: I'm bad. You see, I have missed numerous TV shows that I should have been reviewing, simply because little things like schoolwork and trying to have a life have gotten in the way. But every once in a while, a show will come along that will shake me out of my complacency and make me say, “The time to act is now. The public must be made aware of this show.” This Sunday's Futurama was such a show.
Futurama has been MIA for much of this season, a casualty of the football season (Go Giants! Oh, wait…) but it's back with a vengeance now. This week's episode starts with the Planet Express crew discussing who's going to clean up after Nibbler's hairballs. Zoidberg is nominated, but curiously he doesn't protest. In fact, he doesn't speak or even move, and promptly slumps over. Just when everyone is ready to write him off as dead, he walks out from the backroom, naked. Turns out he had molted and his shell was sitting at the table. Now, to imagine a naked Zoidberg, picture the good Doctor, but light pink and with about three rows of jiggly man boobs. On second thought, don't. Anyway, Zoidberg takes his shell out to the dumpster and Amy gets a call on her cell phone. The caller is the same prank caller who has been calling Amy for a year, breathing heavily and then hanging up.
It so happens that the caller is Kif, first mate to one Zapp Brannigan. Kif has been in love with Amy since they met at the wreck of the Starship Titanic, but he's been unable to work up the nerve to tell her, so he ends up calling her, stuttering into the phone, and then hanging up. When Zapp finds out about this, he doesn't care. However, when he realizes Amy knows Leela, he realizes he can turn the situation to his advantage. He calls Leela to negotiate a double date. After much haggling, they settle on half a date, and they meet at a fancy restaurant the next evening for part of dinner.
At the restaurant, Kif is nervous about talking to Amy, so Zapp gives him his book of pickup lines and instructs him to read them as fast as he can, without stopping. After Zapp announces that this is a “dangerously erotic” date, Kif finds that he is too shy to talk to Amy, so he breaks out Zapp's book. Zapp's pickup lines: “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take off your pants and dance around a little?” “I find the most erotic part of a woman's body to be the boobies.” Naturally these lines do not work and the women excuse themselves to the bathroom. After Kif's last-ditch attempt to win Amy back with karaoke is subverted by Zapp's painful Shatner impression, the rest of the restaurant evacuates, leaving Zapp to pilot the ship home. Naturally, he crashes it into a nearby planet within seconds. “You win again, gravity.”
