Review of Your #1 Requests…And More
By Young Il Kim
I went to McDonald’s the other day to buy
two things where the ingredients and the final product have nothing in common.
First of these was the Chicken McNuggets. To call McNuggets “chicken” would
be a misnomer as there are more mackerel, bread batter, and meat by-products
overlooked by the FDA than “chicken”. (Note to McD lawyers: I am kidding.
While you are there, can you bring me a 9-piece?) However, despite the fact that
you know the ingredients are all crappy, the final product tastes mighty fine.
My second purchase was the Britney Spears and ‘N Sync album. Ironically, in
this case, the two main ingredients are mighty fine. Britney Spears is a Lolita
who is obviously a few Big Macs away from being the fat one in Wilson Phillips.
However, while she is still firm, young, and nubile, we can all listen to her
bubble gum pop music. The other ingredient is a part Justin, part JC, a dash of
Lance, a sprinkle of Joey, and a pinch of Chris. They could really do without
that pinch though.
The album held so much promise. After all, the commercials were pretty funny. I
liked the one where the McDonald’s servers are dancing to “Bye Bye Bye” as
they are dishing out Big Macs, fries, and apple pies. Secondly, these two pop
sensations are extremely entertaining to listen to. I am so ashamed to admit
this, but it is like bad armpit B.O. Sometimes, it is so bad that you have to
smell it…twice. While I am on the subject of armpit odor, I knew someone who
insisted that people take a whiff from his pit. Well, compared to this crap
album, his armpits are like potpourri.
The album contains four ‘N Sync songs. The only one that people care about is
butchered and gone through the processor to resemble nothing like the original
(much like McDonald’s food). The trademark song, “Bye Bye Bye” is remixed.
And there are some slow songs by ‘N Sync too. Yo, JC and Justin, I have some
advice. Stick to your dance hits and smooth moves. When you sing slow songs, you
become 98 Degrees. Last time I checked…they suck. The album also contains some
Britney Spears songs including that “Oops” song. Like “Bye” cubed,
“Oops” is remade. The other songs are non-dance songs that will never reach
any radio play. Heck, they may not even reach Napster.
If the intention of this McDonald’s release was to broaden their audience
base, these two pop sensations failed. If their goal was to steal $4.99 from
their core fans who might listen to their studio rejects, they certainly
accomplished their mission; fortunately for them, their fans won’t care. And
then there are marginal fans who must choose between the CD or getting the 20
piece Chicken McNuggets with Hot Mustard sauce…sniff…sniff…they are the
ones who are truly ripped off. Do yourself a favor. Rather than buying this CD,
supersize your meal 12 times with the money that you save.
Mood:
TRL
Hear it?:
Download the MP3's
