Director: Mel Gibson
Starring: Mel Gibson,Angus MacFadyen,Patrick McGoohan,Sophie Marceau
To put it frankly, this movie absolutely kicks ass. It is the embodiment of a guy movie: massive battle scenes, betrayal, gore, sex, revenge—need I say more? Alright, fine, it’s a little long at three and a half hours, but it’s three and half hours of pure testosterone. This is the kind of movie you can watch 10 times and still not get sick of.
I remember my friend telling me that he used to watch Braveheart before all his hockey games to get himself pumped up, and I believe him. Basically, when the movie finishes, you have this really pressing urge to find a broadsword and start ramming into people, so the analogy to hockey is obvious.
Braveheart has a classic plot: it’s about good guys (the Scots) versus bad guys (the English). It’s the year 1315, and the Scots are trying to win their freedom from England, while the tyrannical English King, Edward the Longshanks (Patrick McGoohan), is trying to keep them from having it. Leading the Scots is William Wallace (Mel Gibson), whose father was killed by Longshanks when the hero was just a boy. Wallace and his band of merry men, including a seemingly insane Irishman and a guy with a really intimidating scar on his cheek, fight the English up and down the island in several chillingly graphic battles. Meanwhile, the Scottish Lords keep fighting amongst each other for power and lands, threatening Wallace’s ability to continue defeating the English. Mixed up in all this is a love affair between Wallace and the newly wedded Princess of England (Sophie Marceau), who happens to be very, very beautiful. Obviously, I can’t tell you how it ends, but trust me, it’s worth waiting for.
I’m sure historians must be up in arms about this movie, because it’s so blatantly Scot-o-centric, if there is such a thing. The portrayal of the English in this movie is almost comical—every single English character that has a line (and I’ve checked this a few times) is arrogant, malicious, and/or repulsive, and they murder, rape, and pillage the poor innocent Scots at will. Now is it just me, or have the English been getting the historical shaft lately? In Mel Gibson’s The Patriot they indiscriminately burn women and children, which, as far I’ve heard, has absolutely no historical basis whatsoever. But I guess in general blaming the English adds dramatic effect, so why not just throw it in there for fun? While I’m poking holes, I might as well say I doubt that William Wallace and the Princess ever really had an affair—but in making that one up they added some hot scenes with Marceau, so I’m not complaining.
In closing, I must warn the ladies: every female I know that has seen this movie hated it. You all think it’s too long and too gory. But guys, you must watch this movie—it’s a three-and-half-hour adrenaline rush.
