In a test program, forty drugstores in Washington State will be dispensing morning-after birth control pills without prescription. In fact, men can buy them in special gift packs with cards that say, “Thanks, maybe I’ll call you sometime.”The Department of Education is under fire for spending taxpayer money to close-caption the Jerry Springer Show. Oh, please, if you were watching Jerry Springer, can you read?
I looked up the word “politics” in the dictionary, and it’s actually a combination of two words; “poli,” which means many, and “tics,” which means “bloodsuckers.”
A New York man bought a car at a police auction, then went home and found a dead body handcuffed in the trunk. Actually, it isn’t that bad. This week, he can use the carpool lane.
The Teamster’s Union is broke. Things are so bad, they may have to lay off 100 congressmen.
New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
The Supreme Court has ruled they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
I saw a stupid ad for a microwave that cooks in ten seconds. Are there really people who say, “I’ve been home for ten seconds, where the hell is dinner?”
Oprah Winfrey was cleared of charges she slandered the beef industry. It’s a good thing. Can you imagine how stupid we would look to the rest of the world, if we let O.J. and Louise Woodward go free, but threw Oprah in jail for insulting a cheeseburger?
At the Grammy Awards, Keith Richards became the first performer ever to accept a posthumous award in person.
China says it wants to start putting people in space. Not to explore, just to get rid of some of them.
In a swipe at President Clinton, Reverend Jerry Falwell noted that he’s never been alone with any woman except his wife and daughter. Big deal. Woody Allen can say the same thing.
According to a new survey, 76 percent of men would rather watch a football game than have sex. My question is, why do we have to choose? Why do you think they invented halftime?
DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never understood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard. But why do his underpants have a belt on them?
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Clinton’s pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they’ve turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican.
In a test program, forty drugstores in Washington State will be dispensing morning-after birth control pills without prescription. In fact, men can buy them in special gift packs with cards that say, “Thanks, maybe I’ll call you sometime.”