Wheelchairs Only
Dear Bitter TA,
I have an ethical dilemma. I’m not the kind of person who would ever park in a
handicapped only space. However, I do often use the handicapped stalls in public
bathrooms. I mean, they’re roomier, I don’t feel like I’m sitting right
next to someone else, and I have the vague notion that they’re cleaner, too.
Is this wrong of me?
Abel
Dear A,
What a fascinating question, and one I’ve struggled with myself over the
years. Because, yes, the Bitter T.A. loves to use the handicapped stall. And I
have for a long time. But let me tell you something, Abel, I have never walked
out of a handicapped stall and seen a guy sitting in a wheelchair waiting for
me. In fact, I’ve never seen a wheelchair in a public restroom. What does this
mean? I’m not sure. Adult diapers? Or do they just have more self-control? Or
do they know how grotty public restrooms are?
In any case, I think you’re safe going to handicapped stalls as long as you
aren’t planning to spend an hour. If you know what you need to do and can do
it in three minutes or less, I figure it won’t kill someone to wait. But what
if someone is waiting when you come out? That would be embarrassing.
Probably the best thing to do would be to pretend you are blind or deaf and
stumble out as quickly as possible (but do wash your hands, please).
Does this mean you should be able to park in a handicapped zone if you’re
just going to be a minute (or two)? Hey, why not? (After all, I’m the Bitter
T.A., not The Ethicist.) If you’re just going to drop off a video or buy a
pack of gum, take the risk. But remember: three minutes or less. Don’t even
think about paying for that gum with a personal check.
