About Emily
As you’ve probably
figured out, my first name is Emily, and we can just leave it at that since my
last name is this unreadable mess which isn’t all that important to know
anyway. Anyhow, I figured you’d all appreciate a description of what I look
like, since it is highly unlikely that we will ever meet (I know, the
heartbreak!). Having said that, I am a 5’10”, 125 lb., blond, blue-eyed
bombshell with 34-22-36 proportions. I have often been mistaken for Rebecca
Romijn-Stamos and would be famous myself were it not for my hard-to-read last
name (my agent said it would never catch on in mainstream Hollywood, and I
refused to change it because I refuse to whore myself to Hollywood and the
fickle American public).
Anyway, now that you know that I have such high morals, let’s talk about
the rest of my personality: I am a smart, sassy, glamorous, sexy, independent
woman of the 21st century. I am strong yet feminine, straightforward yet
mysterious, alluring yet innocent, and best of all, both men and women find me
irresistible (I’m not bisexual, don’t get me wrong, although there’s
nothing wrong with that). I could go on and on, but I should probably bring this
introduction to a close, seeing as I don’t want to give all of myself away in
this first installment (the mystery factor, ahem, ahem.)
