Undoubtedly, the question that I am asked most often is, “What does the CEO
of CampusNut.com do?” And that’s from my co-workers. Rather than answer that
question, I will answer the second most asked question, “Gil, what are your
favorite guilty pleasures?” Okay, no one asks me that, but I needed a brief
intro to launch into my Top Ten Guilty Pleasures. I guess my first should be
pointless intros. If you read my Cinema
Paradiso movie review, you’ll see how pointless that is. Sorry, I digress.
1. Britney Spears
I feel like such an old child molester when I see her on TV. Boy, she has
such a rockin’ body, and she can sing. Okay, she ain’t exactly Sarah
Brightman or LeAnn Rimes in terms of her vocal talents, but so what. She’s
hot. My favorite song is “Stronger”. And how about that MTV Video Award
performance?
2. World Wrestling Federation
I just cannot get enough of the WWF.
The storylines are so compelling. For those that complain that wrestling ain’t
real, get a clue. It is real. My favorite characters are Edge and Christian.
They simply crack me up. And the characters have more fake breasts than the
entire cast of Baywatch. And we are just talking about Triple H and the
Rock.
3. Edy’s Peach Sorbet
I’m trying to lose some weight. I don’t know how much weight I have
gained, but I know that my pants have shrunk dramatically over the past six
months. Surely, it cannot be my expanding girth, right? I think the primary
cause of my pant shrinkage has been the Peach Sorbet. It says it contains six
servings per container (each serving has 120 calories). Usually, I finish the
whole carton in one sitting…usually because my ass is too heavy to lift off
the chair.
4. Karaoke
I love to karaoke. I’m usually very bad at singing but that never stops
me. I usually like to belt out George Michael or Michael Jackson tunes. And if
there’s enough alcohol in my system, I usually do the whole dancing and
grabbing crotch bit. Sometimes my crotch and sometimes someone else’s. I lose
track.
5. Prostitutes
Okay, this is not exactly what you think it is. In Boston, there’s a
section of Chinatown that is frequented by… “ladies.” You go at 2 am and
there’s bumper to bumper traffic because Chinatown’s the only place open
after 2. Yup, they come in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Of course, watching
the pimps is a riot, too. No, I do not use them. But it is funny to see them
enter cars and alleyways with their “friends.” I was an Economics major in
college so watching the barter system at work is always highly educational.
6. Sally Struthers Informericals.
There is something to her fat, pathetic face that gets me so addicted to
those late night Save the Children Foundation commercials. We all know why those
Third World children are starving. Sally is usually the first in line when they
serve food, and there’s no food left for anyone else. Yes, I usually eat lots
of food when I watch. And sometimes, I don’t even finish my meals. So what?
7. Women’s Magazines.
Yeah, I like reading GQ, Maxim, FHM and Stuff.
But there’s something to reading about what women are thinking. My favorite is
Cosmopolitan, followed by Glamour. Why can’t women that I meet
be as man-hungry as those girls in Cosmo? If you are fun, fearless, and,
most importantly, female, email me.
8. Radio Delilah
She is this annoying gremlin of a human being. She has this stupid
syndicated radio program from 7 pm to 12 pm. She plays cheesy music, with
Michael Bolton and Celine Dion being the two most frequent singers. Even more
annoying is her whole saccharin attitude and motherly advice. In fact, her
personality is so irritatingly “cute” that it is addictive.
9. Yahoo Games
First, it was playing hearts (http://games.yahoo.com). Okay, since Yahoo
sends many users to our site, I’ll give a free plug. Their online spades and
hearts are so addictive. Sometimes I go to sleep around 6 am because I’ve been
playing it all night. Of course, I try to hit on women when I am playing.
10. Scented Candles
Yes, I have scented candles. Sometimes, I like to light them. Yeah, I like
how they smell. No, I don’t bring them to the bathtub and spend hours in the
bathroom.
