I have learned a great
many things from participating in varsity football. It has changed my entire
outlook on and attitude toward life. Before my freshman year at [high-school], I
was shy, had low self-esteem and turned away from seemingly impossible
challenges. Football has altered all of these qualities. On the first day of
freshman practice, the team warmed up with a game of touch football. The players
were split up and the game began. However, during the game, I noticed that I
didn’t run as hard as I could, nor did I try to evade my defender and get
open. The fact of the matter is that I really did not want to be thrown the
ball. I didn’t want to be the one at fault if I dropped the ball and the play
didn’t succeed. I did not want the responsibility of helping the team because
I was too afraid of making a mistake. That aspect of my character led the first
years of my high school life. I refrained from asking questions in class, afraid
they might be considered too stupid or dumb by my classmates. All the while, I
went to practice and everyday, I went home physically and mentally exhausted.
Yet my apprehension
prevailed as I continued to fear getting put in the game in case another player
was injured. I was still afraid of making mistakes and getting blamed by
screaming coaches and angry teammates. Sometimes these fears came true. During
my sophomore season, my position at backup guard led me to play in the varsity
games on many occasions. On such occasions, I often made mistakes. Most of the
time the mistakes were not significant; they rarely changed the outcome of a
play. Yet I received a thorough verbal lashing at practice for the mistakes I
had made. These occurrences only compounded my fears of playing. However, I did
not always make mistakes. Sometimes I made great plays, for which I was
congratulated. Now, as I dawn on my senior year of football and am faced with
two starting positions, I feel like a changed person.
Over the years, playing
football has taught me what it takes to succeed. From months of tough practices,
I have gained a hard work ethic. From my coaches and fellow teammates, I have
learned to work well with others in a group, as it is necessary to cooperate
with teammates on the playing field. But most important, I have also gained
self-confidence. If I fail, it doesn’t matter if they mock or ridicule me;
I’ll just try again and do it better. I realize that it is necessary to risk
failure in order to gain success. The coaches have always said before games that
nothing is impossible; I know that now. Now, I welcome the challenge. Whether I
succeed or fail is irrelevant; it is only important that I have tried and tested
myself.
COMMENTS:
The topic of this essay is
how the applicant has matured and changed since his freshman year. He focuses on
football. One of the strengths of this essay is that it is well organized. The
applicant clearly put time into the structure and planning of this essay. He
uses the platform of football to discuss and demonstrate his personal growth and
development through the high school years. What he could have done better was
spend more time describing himself after he made improvements. As it is, he only
tells us about his newfound confidence and drive. This essay would have been
stronger had he actually shown us, perhaps by including a story or describing an
event where his confidence made a difference.
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