"Life is all about risks, and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could
have had. No one waits forever." -Anonymous
The Plunge
My first day in the fourth grade
at the Banks Elementary School was anything but ordinary. In the morning, I
arrived with both my parents, who led me into the principal's office, where we
sat for a good thirty minutes. While my parents chatted with the principal
wearing a doubtful half-smile on her face, I tried hard to understand their
conversation. No luck, not even a single word. Finally, the adults in the room
stood up and shook hands. My parents then turned to me and said, "Third
grade or fourth grade?" At this moment, I knew my decision, whatever it was
going to be, would certainly be a risky one.
You see, I had just come to the
States a month prior to that day and three months shy of my ninth birthday. Back
in China, I had only completed the second grade and had not been taught or even
been introduced to the English language. However, having been born in November,
I was given a choice to skip third grade since I would have been considered old
for that class anyway. But the choice was still up to me, whether I would pass
up the opportunity for an extra year to adjust. The principal made it clear to
my parents, who translated for me, that my transition was going to be very
difficult. The school offers no special ESL program, she told them, might we
want to try another school, perhaps a bilingual one?
I weighed the options that laid
before me: go into third grade, a smoother connection to my former education;
jump ahead to fourth grade and lose a year of English acquisition but be with
kids closer to my age; or switch schools entirely and be placed in an ESL
program. The first two doors meant that I would be put straight into an
all-English environment, almost like plunging me into the ocean without a
lifejacket. The third alternative would strap one on for me. In the first and
biggest decision of my short little life, I chose the second door and skipped
third grade. The words of the principal did little to deter me, but the looming
possibility that I may end up having to repeat fourth grade did intimidate me.
On the other hand, what is a risk if one does not take it? So, I did.
In the months immediately following
my entrance into the fourth grade, a whirlpool of emotions accompanied my
progression. First, it was the excitement of meeting new people; everyone in my
class regarded me with endless curiosity but genuine friendliness. Then, the
frustration of hearing everything but understanding nothing bubbled up and
brewed furiously in my mind. I was confused and lonely, as if trapped inside a
glass box. The language barrier was formidable, even simple actions such as
asking to go to the bathroom baffled me. So I did things without asking, running
off in the middle of class to the girls' room because I was too ashamed to
stutter in my broken English. Miss Keith, my teacher, perceived my juvenile
anguish and patiently explained the rules until she thought I had understood
them. In a letter home, she suggested to my parents that they make flashcards to
help me with my daily routine at school. Still, I cried to my mom that I was
tired of trying and sick of forcing myself to learn English. Between sobs I
wondered if I had made the wrong choice. Maybe I should not have gambled with
such a risk. There had been nothing but unhappy consequences.
Little by little, however, the skies
cleared over my tempest of frustration, and sunny rays of hope filtered through.
About three months after the first day of school, I received my first of many
perfect scores on a spelling test. My mindset was changed after that. Confidence
replaced dread, and I began to welcome new challenges. My English was getting
better - I no longer felt stranded. The communication barrier quickly withered
away as well. Soon, I was one of the most talkative and actively contributing
kids in the class. At the year's end, Miss Keith congratulated me on my
remarkable improvement: I had passed the fourth grade with no marks lower than a
B.
I sometimes think to myself now how
my life would have turned out had I picked any one of the other two doors. My
musings foster no regrets, however, because the risk I took was ultimately the
right one. I know that, at the time, my decision had no guarantees, but the very
fact that there were others who doubted me, meant that I had to prove them
wrong. And even though I had almost given up once, I was made stronger by the
experience. I realized that all too often people, out of fear, shy away from
taking risks, and miss the opportunities that these risks can conceive; the
power to shape the outcome lies within each individual. With these lessons and
countless fond memories of my fourth grade class in mind, I must conclude that
the first and biggest decision of my short little life was a risk well taken.
COMMENTARY:
This essay starts off with a
cliché by using a quote. Considering that it is anonymous makes it even more
oddly out of place. The author does a good job of conveying to the reader of her
difficulties of adjusting to a new culture and language. This essay answers the
basic question of "What was the most difficult challenge and how did you
overcome it?" However, there is a sense of self-righteousness that is
conveyed, perhaps unintentionally. For example, her emphasis of "first of
many perfect scores on a spelling test" and "no marks lower than a
B" lead the readers to assume that this is really a tale of a Fourth Grade
Nothing (sorry, Judy Blume). I wanted to hear more about how she overcame her
struggles rather than hearing about the results, especially since she seems to
equate the success of her decision based on grades and nothing more. - Gil
The quote that starts off the
essay is a bit of a cliché. While it is relevant, and a good one at that, too
often students use a quote as an easy way to introduce a topic. I'm sure the
college application boards have read enough of these to fill a forest. I don't
know what that meant either. There are also some grammatical errors that could
have easily been fixed with the help of an editor - a peer or a school teacher.
Regardless, the rest of the essay is well-written and reflects the author's
feelings and turmoil well. However, some of these feelings seem to be written
for the sake of sounding literary. The author doesn't take us through the
process, but rather tells us what happened. The first three paragraphs were too
long of an introduction and could probably be condensed to about one. With this,
the author could give more attention to the effects of the decision rather than
how she actually made it. I would have rather read a story from this time that
reflects the entire transition process and how she realized it was a good
decision for her, emotionally and not just academically. - Jeyun
