I have not been a big fan of nerdy camps. So the idea of being stuck in a convention with a bunch of dorks is as appetizing as my cooking. For those of you who don’t know, I am to gourmet cooking as O.J. Simpson is to innocence. But when Garage.com was hosting its Bootcamp in Boston (about three Tiger Woods drives from our office), I decided to fork out $795.00 for the two-day affair. To write it off as business, I am writing this diary.
This Bootcamp brings together a whole bunch of venture capitalists to present their companies in front of hundreds of entrepreneurs who need money. Being that I was one of these elite groups (hint: I am the one with no dough), I decided to attend this two-day affair.
Day 1:
I don’t have an alarm clock so my co-worker (thanks, Angela) woke me up at 6:00 so that I could get there on time. The reception looked promising. I got a free backpack, a T-shirt, and lots of bagels. Being the cheapskate that I am, I packed a few bagels into the backpack. After a bit of schmoozing, we went inside an auditorium to hear the rich people talk about how they are looking for new start-ups to fund. I got really excited until they also revealed that they fund about 0% (the actual number was 0) of start-ups that they meet at these things. These venture capitalists (VCs) are like supermodels. They talk about wanting to find that guy who is nice, funny, and sincere; they claim that looks, money, and fame ain’t important. But who do they date? Rock stars and people with money. These VCs are like supermodels except that they don’t do heroin and don’t look that good in thongs (well, one of them offered but I digress).
Between panels and keynote speeches, we got to network with the other entrepreneurs who were there. So after a whole bunch of stripteases by the panelists, we got to mingle with the ugly people. Well, they weren’t ugly but I am continuing my analogy. The food was good though. Between breaks, I made a mental note that I have to eat about $800 worth of food during the two days. The only crappy food was one that was sponsored by Microsoft. I know that Bill Gates has hit upon some hard times lately, but come on—the Vietnamese wouldn’t have served McCain this stuff because it would have violated the Geneva Convention.
After networking with fellow entrepreneurs—okay, they pitch their crappy business idea to me, and I tell them about CampusNut.com—we go back to the auditorium to hear more speakers. They were all good, except for the last guy who talked about connectivity or some garbage like that. He was a bit out there. Yo no hablo geek speak. When the day was over, more schmoozing.
I waited in line to speak with the guys from Garage.com, including Guy Kawasaki and Bill Reichert. Guy Kawasaki not only invented the motorcycle but he was also an evangelist at Apple Computer. Now, if you don’t know what an evangelist is, think of Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker. Okay, I am being facetious. They were very upfront and grilled the snobby VCs with issues that matter to the start-up entrepreneurs, and they were fun to talk to. However, I feel their pain. After all, my crap, a.k.a. elevator pitch, was no better than other people’s. But they were polite and smiled and nodded.
I also got some business cards from a couple of VCs, including Sheryl Marshall from Axxon Capital. She liked our business card and said she had a daughter in college. I am hoping that her daughter will spend all her time on our website and Sheryl will put money into my company. Also, I ran into the firm of Testa and two other people’s name that no one remembers, the firm that represented my first Internet venture, Campus24.com, two years ago.
The most exciting moment was when I gave my elevator pitch to Kerry Bradford of Garage.com. I never did one of these as the elevator in our building moves quite slowly. My pitch was as if Randy Johnson was trying out for the squad while Bill Parcells watched. "Gee, that was a great pitch. But, big guy, this is the football try-outs." Yes, I was pitching an idea that was out of favor with the fickle investors. And like Randy Johnson, I go around calling myself the Big Unit.
All in all, it was well worth the money for the first 30 minutes alone. That being said, I have to go back for day two. Besides, I only ate about $30 worth. I still have another $770 left.
And if I offended any VCs and rich people by this story, email me at ykim@campusnut.com.. Perhaps, we can meet on a slow elevator and I will give you a pitch about the best academic and entertainment site for Generation Y.
