In 1999, ESPN produced a list of top 50 greatest athletes. While the list was pretty cool, some of the athletes were omitted and some…well, we never heard of. We decided to produce our own top 50 list and it doesn’t include Babe Ruth, Jim Brown, and Muhammed Ali. Let’s face it, we never have seen these people in their prime. We weren’t even born during their prime. We made our list based on our criteria. They had to have been in their prime during the past twenty years. So Secretariat is out of the running. Sorry, but you are glue now.
1. Michael Jordan – We all want to be like Mike. He is the most famous minor league baseball player in history.
2. Ken Griffey, Jr. – By the time he is done with his career, he will have broken the all-time home run record. Our Willie Mays and Babe Ruth.
3. Joe Montana – He was Joe Cool in the pocket and led the 49ers to 4 Super Bowl vistories.
4. Shaquille O’Neal – He ranked so high despite his acting and rapping ability. If he comes out with another movie, he will drop out of this list.
5. Tiger Woods – He did to golf what Jesus did to Christianity.
6. Magic Johnson – He would have been higher on the list if he did not have his own short-lived TV show.
7. Mike Tyson – Before he went to prison, he was the most feared fighter. After he got out, he turned Evander “the Real Deal” Holyfield into the “Real Meal”.
8. Wayne Gretzky – The greatest Canadian import since…uh, Celine Dion?
9. Lawrence Taylor – He was the biggest terror to come out of the NFL since OJ Simpson.
10. Julius Erving – He was a bit over the prime when we were young but he was the first Doctor that did not see us naked. And he had that big afro.
11. Pete Sampras – Boring personality but keeps on winning Grand Slams and beautiful girls.
12. O. J. Simpson – During the nineties, he resurrected his career as a slashing and bruising athlete. And he was damn good in those Naked Gun movies.
13. Mark McGwire – Let Sammy Sosa and Junior hit those wimpy homeruns. His arms are bigger than linebackers’ thighs.
14. Anna Kournikova – She has never won a single tennis tournament. But then again, Brad Pitt never won the Academy Awards either.
15. Bo Jackson – Bo knows football. Bo knows baseball. Bo knows a brilliant short career.
16. Dan O’Brien – He won the Decathlon event with the highest point total ever. Although that and $4.00 will get you a dozen donuts, he is technically the best athlete.
17. Bonnie Blair – She dominated speed skating. If the term didn’t have such negative connotations, we would call her “Ice Queen.”
18. Roy Jones, Jr. – The best boxer pound for pound. Or as his opponents would say, pounding for pounding. He once played a pro basketball game and won a boxing match on the same day.
19. Greg LeMond – He got shot in a hunting accident and later won back-to-back Tour de France. He made cycling a cool recreational sport before Lance Armstrong came to the scene a decade later.
20. Mario Lemieux – Okay, we don’t watch hockey either. But apparently, he was better during his prime than the Great One.
