By
Jack Cheng
, Columbia University
Part Two
It was a strange request, but I didn’t feel I had any choice but to accept. This essay was harder than the first. It didn’t seem right to be flippant, but it didn’t seem true to myself not to mock the odd situation. Finally, I wrote an essay with a cheap joke at the beginning ("Jack is the best student I have ever been") but which went on to explain why I had no desire to join clubs or teams or societies. I mentioned a Peanuts cartoon that had Charlie Brown building a snowman while all the other kids joined a school sponsored "Snowman Building League." I mentioned a number of my interests—a tactic that would have sounded like a stupid list in my "personal" essay (in fact, this was much more personal). And I finished with a line that tied into my essay about being Canadian: "I like to build my own snowmen."
I can’t say I was surprised when I got the letters from Harvard and Yale. They don’t take people like me. I did get into Columbia, though, and I can honestly say that I have no doubt that I got a better education there than I would have at Harvard (I’ve taught at Harvard so I have some credibility there). The point is, applying for schools is like dating. You’re not always going to be happy with the richest girl, the prettiest girl, the most popular girl. And she might not like you. But if you can find a girl who meshes with you, who cares about what and how you think, you can both grow together. And the girls at Harvard are rich, pretty, popular bitches.
No wait, I mean, Columbia is a great school for someone who wants a broad education (i.e. has no idea what to major in), whereas Harvard’s resources reward students who are focused and ambitious. The people in Admissions aren’t just bestowing favors on the people they accept, they’re doing you a favor in rejecting you from a place where you wouldn’t be happy.
