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By Young Il Kim , CampusNut.com

Flashdancers

For my twenty-first birthday, I went to Flashdancer, a famous “Gentlemen’s” club in Times Square, New York. I had never been to a strip club before so this trip was going to a journey to arouse my senses—or so I thought. Below is the true and embarrassing account of what happened on that memorable night. And just remember this, no matter what the stripper says, there is no spanking in the champagne room.

My friends, Nelson and Matt, and I were greeted outside by a big Italian guy. For my own imagination, I am going to pretend that he had Mob ties. Nelson slipped him a twenty, and we were led to the nearest table to the stage. I was hoping to get ID-ed but I guess a twenty was plenty of identification. Upon walking in, I thought I was in the heart of Silicone Valley as I saw gigantic and firm breasts that defied gravity. I guess some of them could be used as floatation devices. I felt like the judge at Wimbledon as I looked to the right and then to the left to pay attention to the bouncing objects. We sat down on the table, ordered beer, and decided to absorb the T & A show.

After a few minutes of watching the strippers work for their dollars and use the bar on stage to perform athletic moves, I finally began to understand why gymnastics was such a popular Olympic event. Not to sound unappreciative but after a few minutes of this, my friends and I became quickly bored and began talking about going clubbing. Well, actually Matt and I were talking while Nelson excused himself to talk to a stripper. A minute later, he came back to our table with the stripper. I think her name was Britney or Tiffany. Apparently, when your parents name you Tiffany or Britney, your career choices become limited to either being a singing teeny-bopper or a stripper or both. Anyway, this Tiffany sat down and started talking to me. I don’t remember the exact dialogue but she was wishing me a happy birthday. She also was telling me that she is doing this so that she could pay for her college. I think that strippers are probably the most educated people in the world as all of them are paying their way into graduate schools or doing this to pay their student loan. I was perfectly content with talking to her as I really wanted to ask her about her studies. She told me that she was studying Economics at NYU or something. Given that I was an Economics major, I wanted to know her theories on Keynesian Economics as pertaining to modern government involvement in welfare of its people. She stopped talking with me to tell me that she had a special birthday show for me. Hmm, are we going to see Cats on Broadway?

Actually, she moved my chair closer to her and whispered into my ear “Baby, I am going to make this the funnest night of your life.” As if on cue, Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman” began playing at the club. She basically decided to sit on my lap and start gyrating. No, you are not every woman, I thought, you are my woman. Okay, that was not I was thinking but sounds like what a porn actor would say. While I certainly appreciated this show of enthusiasm on her part, I felt a rush of blood going to my head (no, not that one, you pervert). I was embarrassed and was blushing like mad. She continued with her show as Matt was laughing hysterical and Nelson was drooling at Tiffany’s body. I, on the other hand, was so nervous that we were no longer discussing economics that I could not be aroused for this show. And given where her hips rested on my body, she knew that I was not aroused. This made the situation more awkward for me because I had the first case of performance anxiety. In her effort to please me, she decided to rub her bare chest on my face (again, I appreciated her gesture) and place my right hand on her left cheek. She held my right hand and used her free hand to give herself a playful spanking. I have been in situations where I was dancing with women where they led. I assume Tiffany was doing the same is our little “dance” so I did what came naturally. I proceeded to spank her.

After three spanks, Tiffany was in such shock that she burst out laughing. She tried to continue with her dance but obviously the heat of the moment has past. Thankfully the song and the dance ended. Tiffany and I will always think of “I’m Every Woman” as our song. Afterwards, she sat down and ordered a drink for herself. Later, I found that this is unprecedented. She told me that this was the first time that she was ever spanked. Oh shucks, I am sure that she says to all her guys. The situation was clearly awkward enough as I could not “rise” to the occasion and now have the embarrassment of spanking her in front of my friends and random horny strangers, but I had to deal with a stripper who became interested in getting to know me better. Somehow, I was doing my best to chase her away while she was chatting with me and my friends. A few minutes later, she was requested by another gentleman for a show. Judging by his big hands, spanking was probably not going to happen.

Looking back, I developed a lifetime of memories in the hour that I was at the club. In an odd way, Tiffany made that night memorable. I hope to run into her again someday...when I return to graduate school.

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