You know, when you really think about it, most relationships are pretty random. I mean, people don’t honestly sit down, read the life stories of the people they know and make an educated decision, it all just sort of happens. I recently heard a statistic which claimed that the number one factor determining the success of a relationship is not religion, race, common interests….but proximity!! In the end, many relationships are convenient, and both parties adjust to preserve the relationship.
But why? When we are so picky about so many things, why do we rely on circumstances when choosing something as important as a significant other? We learn all the specs when buying computers, use the internet to comparison shop for cars, take infinite tours for buying houses, and yet, when it comes to boys, we just accept whatever chance throws our way.
Everything is becoming hi-tech these days, and the search for love should be no exception. It is time to get away from those mushy qualitative ratings, and develops a quantitative system for rating a boy’s likeability.
So where to begin? Let us first define the two extremes of boys. First of all, there are the “Flash” boys. These boys know how to dress, they are smooth, and they are ladies men. They are the type of people, whom if you are so lucky as to see one, provoke a mental “damn!” However, these boys are not the sort that would call every evening, and they are not very reliable. You may not have anything in common with these boys. All in all, they are heartbreakers.
The second extreme are the Mama’s boys. They would get you home 30 minutes before your curfew and then come in to have a friendly chat with your father. These are the type of boys who, though not necessarily unattractive, just don’t jump out and scream, “hey baby!” However, these boys are extremely reliable, and you know that they would never hurt you or let you down.
And so know that we have defined our variables, flash vs. responsibility, it is time to begin rating guys. Start by rating the boy you have in mind on a scale of 1-10 for both flash and responsibility. Then, plot the responsibility value on the X-axis, and the flash value on the y-axis. Next, connect the point you have plotted to the origin.
Now it gets a little bit complicated. Take the slope of the line (Rise over run for you non math types!) If the number is one or greater you are finished. If the number is a fraction, then take the reciprocal (reciprocal= 1/(your number)).
Tada! You now have your eligibility quotient! The closer the number is to one, the more eligible your boy is. However, as the number gets larger and larger, watch out! He is either too dashing or too dependable to make good boyfriend material.
So when choosing the boy that you will have to spend a lot of time with, make sure to think about how you would rate him. Make sure that he is what you want, and that if you were to line him up with all the guys you know, he would be the first person you would want to date. You wouldn’t buy a pair of jeans without looking at a few different brands, don’t settle for some boy, just because he happens to be on clearance!
