By
Justin Snider
, Amherst College
How to Haggle with Street Vendors
The following tips are gleaned from years of bargaining at souvenir markets
around the world. These aren't hard and fast rules – indeed, the first (and
only) rule of haggling is that there are no rules and each situation is unique
– but they are guidelines that usually do the trick. Street vendors as a class
are even better at their jobs than used car salesmen, taxi drivers and lawyers:
they are part shady uncle and slimy bouncer, part vulgar vulture and wily rogue.
The only prerequisite for the job is the ability to lie, cheat and steal with a
smile and a clean conscience – which, incidentally, is also the lone
requirement for a career in politics. Most importantly, street vendors are
masters of the feigned friendship. Bill Clinton would clearly be the ultimate
street vendor; he's not called Slick Willy for nothing, after all. And Tricky
Dick Nixon wouldn't be shabby either, I'd bet.
More specifically: street vendors are professionals at selling funky junk to
people who don't really need it – "Hey, Mr. Eskimo, you look like you
could use some snow!" or "Saddam, I can see you're definitely short on
human rights violations. How about a handful?" The better vendors can
competently converse in countless languages, and on a moment's notice they're
able to launch into expert, Oscar-worthy guilt-trips about Western hegemony and
exploitation. All of this to say you'd be naïve – stupid, really – not to
prepare yourself thoroughly for an encounter with them.
